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留學(xué)個(gè)人陳述PS,避免這6種開(kāi)頭.

2017/07/20 04:42:08 編輯: 瀏覽次數(shù):306 移動(dòng)端

  個(gè)人簡(jiǎn)歷是留學(xué)申請(qǐng)文書中非常重要的一部分,往往成為申請(qǐng)人是否被錄取的關(guān)鍵。那么,暫且不提怎樣的文書才能從蕓蕓的文書大軍中推脫穎而出,單來(lái)講一講怎么的文書開(kāi)頭能不被招生委員會(huì)一眼PASS掉,那么,避免以下這六種開(kāi)頭吧。

  1. 救世主型

  I am a problem solver. I have an impulse as a kind of instincts to solvevarious problems bore me and enjoy doing that. Since I was a little boy, a voice from President Franklin Roosevelt has constantly hovered around my mind, "The world can be changed by man&aposs endeavor, … He must ever be receptive and sensitive to the new; and have sufficient courage and skill to novel facts and to deal with them." And I have been longing to be the man to face and solve novel problems.

  點(diǎn)評(píng):一副救世主的形象,小時(shí)候就受富蘭克林的影響,立志改變世界。Ps一定要personal,別吹大牛,甚至帶著一種霸權(quán)思維。

  2. 猶抱琵琶型,拖泥帶水

  Making a right decision at the right time is very important for a young people .At present, I have come to a critical point in my life when I have to make a decision concerning my future course of action. Only a perceptive understanding of oneself will enable one to chart his proper action. Aftercarully thinking, reviewing my life and analyzing my personality, I make the determination and choose to apply for graduate study in XXX. And I choose to specialize in communications which I will pursue a lifelong career.

  點(diǎn)評(píng):重點(diǎn)放在自己要做重大決定上了,人生的轉(zhuǎn)折點(diǎn),然后來(lái)上句所謂名言警句。醞釀太久了。

  3. 重復(fù)簡(jiǎn)歷型

  I earned my Bachelor of Science degree in … Sciences with a specialization in …. in 2002 at … university, which provided me with a profound background in atmospheric science. During this period, I received Outstanding Student Scholarship for my excellent performance in the academic field. I found that ….is abstruse and interested, and there are so many things I did not understand. Thus I decided to learn more.

  點(diǎn)評(píng):Ps不要去repeat簡(jiǎn)歷中的東西。這在很多學(xué)校的ps要求中明確提到,比如講述你自己的故事。

  4. 言幼稚型

  &aposWhy the gecko can climb on the wall while we can&apost?&apos &aposWhy the leaves turn red in autumn&apos &aposHow many stars are there in the sky?&apos When I was in childhood, I always kept asking my mom all kinds of questions。。。I am especially interested in how things work, I can even take apart things for several hours in order to find out its principle. So most of the things in my family has been takenapart by me, from my father&aposs shaver to my mom&apos motorcycle. I can even fix somesimple households, listened to other people&aposs praise, to learn science well became my dream and felt the science will accompany with me in my whole life.

  點(diǎn)評(píng):上來(lái)就回憶童年少年自己如何有著遠(yuǎn)大抱負(fù),who cares. Ps字?jǐn)?shù)有限,卻用這么多話描述童年,沒(méi)有任何意義。

  5. 抄襲句式型

  As a student majoring in Computer Science, I began my odyssey since Ientered undergraduate program. Indeed, having entered this splendid computer world, I am more than greedy for something new.

  點(diǎn)評(píng):Odyssey 和more than greedy for something new 這種句式不知道是從哪里學(xué)到的,很多同學(xué)在用。

  6. 學(xué)校簡(jiǎn)介型

  I am an undergraduate in 。。 University , the largest university anda cradle of scientific and technological talents in China. (。。。 University is a prestigious university of general education with 20 departments and a regular annual enrollment of 8,000 students ) I studied at 。。。(E. E) Department, ahighly selective department with a gathering of smart students who are hard to compete with.

  點(diǎn)評(píng):該同學(xué)的開(kāi)頭等于是一個(gè)學(xué)校的簡(jiǎn)介,這好像是在幫助學(xué)校做宣傳,而不是寫個(gè)人陳述了。覺(jué)得不過(guò)癮,居然還用了括號(hào)。

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